Oh, how lovely, you’ve gotten yourself a selfie stick.
What’s that? Of course it’s terribly inconvenient to ask people to take a photo of you, and yes, they can be dangerous criminals who want nothing more than to steal your phone. Those 97 snapshots you took this morning of your omelette are incredibly sought after on the foodstagram market. So yes, having your selfie stick is much more trustworthy.
But there are many other applications for your selfie stick.
Your selfie stick kind of looks like an antennae from an analogue television set. Perhaps you can glue it on your head. You can make a career as a mobile reception unit. People needing better reception could call you up and you could spend time in their homes while they adjust your antennae till they get their set picture right.
Expelliarmus! You could channel your inner-wizard and use it as a wand. Those annual tri-wizard tournaments your frat-house hosts won’t know what hit them. Plus you can take photos the entire time. And if there just so happens to be en electrical failure you can use is conduct electricity.
Don’t forget to browse the iStick store where you can find many more applications for your attached device, such as iStick Crop, which crops out the part of the photo where you’re holding a massive stick, so you just look like you’re always cheering, or about to punch someone in the face. There is also the iStickTunes app which plays music according to the mood of your photo. If at a party, it plays disco music and flashes lights. If at a more sombre occasion, some Chopin. If you’re stopping foot-traffic disco music and flashing lights (this is so everyone can avoid you). And finally, of course the iSelfieCrowd which allows you to superimpose friends in your photos. There is also the SelfieCrowd website, SelfieStickandFriends.com.
There are many practical applications for your selfie stick. While most people are looking at you and gasping for air from laughing at you so much, you can rest assured that at least you’re making people happy. That’s something to take a selfie for!
Photo: Paško Tomić / Flickr